Okay, I cannot seem to overcome my anxieties. No matter how hard I try. Breathing excercise and pushing through gets me only that far. I mean, I get "it" done in some 90% of case, my anxiety holds me back. I mean, even some professors on my Uni noticed it... and I thought I hide it well. I am just unreasonably nervous when talking to people, especially those I look up to. I underestimate myself at times. I don't believe I am worthy of some things.

in addition of worrying over too many things too intensively... this is probably not good for me, healthwise and otherwise.


I don't know if one can get over it somehow or if it is just how it is always gonna be. Maybe I can use it as positive driving force...

i just don't know. I am annoyed at myself.