Hi Fellow Bear :-)

Yes, I think I fall in the "people pleaser" category. I think most people define it as someone who tends behave in a way that other people like, and does things for other people....sometimes at their own expense. I think that is the common impression of the term.

However, I look at it as one of those things that has its plusses and minusses. I think in the past, I did behave in a way that was too focused on pleasing others. That was a negative thing. I did it so much that I would ignore my own health, my own needs, anything - just to make sure the wants and desires of other folks were being met. I thought I could "make" other people happy in a consistent way, but the truth is that other people are responsible for their own wellbeing. So it took me some adjustment to step back a bit, and learn to take better care of myself, and let people take better care of their own selves. I can care about them and stand by them in their journeys, but each person is responsible for themself. It took me awhile to learn that.

The flip side of this is that I do enjoy caring about other people, and when I do it in a healthy way, I can enjoy it and others can, too. Since I have sort of been oriented this "people pleasing" way my whole life, I've gotten good at it...I have learned to pick up on what people do and don't like. Some people don't have a gift of knowing how to care about other people. This seems like the plus side of being a "people pleaser" as long as I do it in a healthy way. So that's a task I have in my life, trying to make sure I'm caring about other people in healthy ways, and caring about myself in healthy ways too. I keep working on it and I think I'm making progress.

I hope that all made sense.

Thinking of you, FuzzyBear

Take care,
ErinBear