Hi everyone my name is tiffany i am 23 years old and the mother of 2 boys 6 years old and 5 months old and am currently 11 weeks pregnant i suffer from bipolar type 1 disorder... so yes as you can tell by reading so far my life is CHAOS to say the least 9 days ago i checked in at a psych hospital after leaving my abusive fiance of 2 years... was like when i left i had extreme feelings of guilt for staying and allowing my 6 year old to see his mom get physically abused.. so much so that he was willing to take actions to protect his mom... when i left however for some reason i cannot understand i missed him and while i was in the hospital which he did not know i was there, i had sort of an enlightenment to let him go... in turn i had a wonderful 7 days of groups and back on wellbutrin and lamictal which doc says is ok for pregnancy... meds im having some side effects and still depression and mania.. mania i dont mind so much but depression i cannot stand... i have children so i need to be active and be a mom but i feel fatigued alot im assuming from meds and being pregnant... But anyway.. i jump topics alot i suppose blame it on the bipolar lol... when i came home i made the mistake of checking my facebook only to find that babys dad/ abusive fiance sent me a ton of hateful horrible emails and one of the last ones was a suicide threat... so i immediately called him which was such a BAD IDEA... he said he wanted to see noah and me so i let him come pick us up and we hung out and he gave me a note apoligizing and wanting to work things out then however he says he wrote that note before i "kept his son from him" which genuinely i did not have my son either my mom did and i was in the hospital.. i did not tell him out of fear of him kidnapping our baby.... anyway we have an apartment together which i stay at my moms now but he offered me to stay there so i had no stress... i had some issues with my mom yesterday so i decided i was going to move back there however when i called to tell him he proceeded to say i was trying to ruin his plans???? and that he needs time... it confuses me that he made it a point to say over and over again i could live there??? i still love him very much which most victims do but i am not sure if this relationship is healthy... im just my thoughts are consumed with him and it is affecting everything from my children to me eating which being pregnant is not a good thing... being on here however has taken my mind off of him so i am glad to be here and any advice or support is appreciated NICE TO MEET YOU ALL