Sometimes I wonder what is truly me and what is the disorder? A few years back, right after I was diagnosed, a neighbor was evicted and moved out very quickly. They left HUGE piles of trash and belongings on the side of her house and along the street. About a week later, no one had cleaned it up. I got tired of looking at it. So I went out armed with gloves and a bunch of trash bags and cleaned it up myself. A friend that also lives in the neighborhood knew that I had recently been diagnosed and started medication. She drove by and saw me cleaning up the mess. She later said to my husband, "What was with your wife cleaning that huge mess up? Did she forget to take her medication?" Of course I was offended and hurt but ever since then I find myself wondering on many occasions if my actions, good or bad, are me or the disorder? The people close to me often use it as a way to placate me by saying, "Oh, your just depressed" or "calm down, your just manic right now." I want to scream. If I get opinionated or sad, I feel like the people closest to me don't take me seriously. I am a very open person but I am beginning to hesitate telling anyone that I am bipolar. Anyone else ever feel this way?