that sounds so much like my life as I was growing up... apparently my mother and I never got on from about when I was 4. I don't remember it much back then, but by the time I was 12 we were fighting so badly she decided it was all my fault and had me referred to a child psychiatrist thinking i was bipolar (my dad is). That made me even angrier with her and have resented that ever since. Everything wrong in our relationship was put down to ME. But the Pdoc said that there was nothing wrong with me (altho in retrospect i suffered from undiagnosed depression until i was 18 which would've made things worse). When i finally plucked up the courage at 14 to see the school counsellor (I only saw her 2 or 3 times then gave up- i wasn't ready to open myself up to anyone) she said the most important thing that anyone could ever have told me about relationships...'it takes 2 to tango'. I threw that up in my mothers face during one fight and she just laughed it off saying that it was still me all in the wrong. Even now she doesn't believe in it. My hubby and i separated 4 wks ago and she blames him entirely for it, even tho i have told her OVER and OVER that we are both to blame. Man, I have just rambled SO much sorry!!! But please just try and remember that it really does take 2 to tango...
p.s. my mum and i actually get on really well now, but i am not as close to her as she probably thinks i am- i still don't open up to her and trust her really...but on the whole we do get along great (living at opposite ends of the country also doesn't hurt!!).