hey, sillyfish, it seems that you need to work on your self esteem issues. a good start might be losing some weight so that you feel better about yourself and can attract a wider range of partners.

there are also self acceptance issues. if your faith is working against you, well, (here in the US at least) no one is locked into the religion of their parents or friends. you are free to change to a faith that speaks to you and that will acknowedge who you are. a faith that will help you meet others who are accepting and open minded. an example would be the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC), Quakers, Evangelical Lutherans or Unitarian Universalists.

if you're really a woman inside then perhaps you should be dating men. gay men would fit you about right because, speaking from my own experience, they are really women inside their heads. there are lots of balding, hairy gay men like you! (I am one of them. There is a gay community of "bears" (big, hairy guys) and they are unpretentious and fun.) why don't you give it a try? you don't have to rush into gay sex; merely investigate and make friends and see if you are comfortable there and feel welcome.