Hey, i am pretty upset atm everything seems to be going wrong for me i feel like everything is so negative and i cant find anything positive in life whatsoever. Im usually a happy person and full of life but lately people have been putting me to tears with comments. I hate confrontation and when i get freaked out at or in trouble i start to tear up and cry. For example yesterday .. roommate cant drive me to work cuz hes out of gas ...no big deal so called a cab im broke as usual so only had enough to get there like exact. Long story cab fair was like ten cents over from what i had ..cab driver got mad at me that he had to change the price. I was in cab for ten min with him like i was sorry u know? So anyways he makes me late 6 min go into work ( i work at a petstore) one of the first customers freaks out at me she was an older lady maybe 50 or so brought back a dead goldfish then i tell her u know they should have a bigger tank and maybe to bring me a water sample so i can test it right make sence? Before i get her a new fish ..then shes like im 20 years older then u i know all about fish u know nothing i just want a fish blah blah
Blah for like 5 min right to my face ...i didnt even know what to do my face got all red and i just said i was sorry and was only trying to hhelp even tho i felt like freaking out and telling her she looked way older then 40 lol. And she was the dumb one but i let it go kept it in the she goes to the cash freaks out at the cashiers telling them she didnt want a 30 min lecture on goldfish which obv was not true it was like 2 min before she fliped her cool. Anyways the manager comes and gets her the fish and she gives me a dirty look so im like whatever i start to cry like at the cash in front of everyone when she leaves and go in the office alone to cool off . Then i tell the other girls what happened to try and vent a little made me feel a but better then the manager sees im crying and offers to do anything to help but i say im fine and just try to calm down ... he says that i was right in educating her cuz she only had a 4 gallon tank for 2 goldfish when they really need like 29 for 2 ...made me feel so mad that just because im young i dont know anything about. Fish when i have read so many books ..helped sooo many ppl set up their tanks over the year and a half i worked there have my own like 8 tanks . I just cant believe how rude some ppl are. Then then i come home everythings fine im calm happy my fiance goes to sleep im playing a game on his phone . And i know its bad but i start to snoop i read his texts and its from some girl that long story short he is never to talk to her again and he knows it and she had sent him a pic of her midriff showing a new tattoo and u can see her bra and stuff i start to get red faced and pissed now . Throw the phone at him and say not to touch me the rest of the night hes half asleep and doesnt really understand so i forget it and still shaking mad fall asleep .... next morning i text him about it and he says hes sorry etc. I forgive him. Go take a cab once more to work thankfully i got paid. I get written up cuz i joked around and said something offensive that another employee didnt like and im forced to apologize on monday ...lets just say total shocker had no idea i said anything wrong like im sorry i didnt mean to offend anyone with my stupid joke i cant even remember what it was how am i supossed to be sorry for that asked my other coworker friend and she agreed that i was obv not trying to be offensive and that they take things wayyy to seriously about it so whatever i guess ill have to do that monday.i again started tearing up in the backroom after i talked to the manager. i feel like i cry everyday about something or i take things to heart way to much i dont know . I hate this job they promised to move me up so i can make more money like 6 months ago and they have given me a 35 cent raise after a year which i find infair i know so much more about animals there then anyone combined and make the same as a cashier who just stands there u know? How fair is that .i need a new job asap i think. But honeslty i feel so sad and mad and stressed about everything happening at once i feel like exploding . I have no friends to talk to beecuase i moved acoss the country after i graduated 2 years ago with my fiance . I have no money for school and no motivation . I feel like my life is a waste and im never going to get ahead . They made me employee of the month for september but they will not promote me i dont understand im valuable to them but they treat me like crap. Everything just sucks i feel depressed and i now have a lovely coldsore for company becuase of this stress. Ughhh