Fragile, the key here is feeling like you "have to" or are "forced to"...those are major markers in having OCD. I understand completely about finding therapists; I, myself, am about 3 years overdue for some good individual counseling! Suggestion: if you can't afford an individual psychologist or psychiatrist, have you looked into a local support group for anxiety disorders? They usually charge little or nothing to drop in once a week. Best of luck to you!