Well, they want to go out to a restaurant for a late birthday lunch with me and the boyfriend. Which is nice of them and I appreciate it. I'm just not really looking forward to the visit. They'll ask how I'm doing and I'll probably tell them I'm fine because it's what they want to hear. They don't want to hear about how tired I've been, or that I feel numb most of the time, or that I have nothing going on because I don't do anything and don't want to do anything, or that I haven't left my house on my own in weeks. It makes them uncomfortable to talk about it so they won't do it. They'll just change the subject to something safe like the weather or my sister's kids or their dogs, or whatever.

I especially don't want to deal with my mother. She claims that my problems all stem from some "curse" she thinks I'm under. (She is a big reason it took me years to even try getting help.) We get along fine for a couple of days before the fur starts to fly, so I don't really have an excuse not to visit... they just really stress me out. So most of the time I just make excuses not to visit. But it's my birthday and I already said I had free time, so I really don't have an excuse not to go.

At least my boyfriend will be there and they like him, but still. I'm losing sleep over a visit to my parents' house. How sad is that?

I am totally whining, I know. I'm sorry. I just needed to put this out somewhere so I can go to bed and not lay around thinking about it.