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Old Nov 05, 2011, 09:52 AM
Anonymous32477
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I told my T yesterday that I had missed him last week (he went out of town) and that I was happy to be with him today. He didn't seem repulsed or make any moves to get away from me or reinforce his boundaries. He didn't say anything socially required like "I missed you too" (that would seem fake to me) or otherwise act like he was required to do anything but smile and accept what I said.

I find that the more I say to T, the more I get back. I open my heart to him, he opens his to mine. I sometimes feel the need to preface what I say with "this sounds silly to say out loud" or "this sounds weird" or whatever. But the more I don't stop myself from saying what I'm thinking for whatever reason in T, the more I get out of it.

In another thread not long ago, Ygrec said something incredibly wise about fears stopping us from talking in T. We all have fears, for good reasons, that if we say or do or think XYZ, that our T's are going to do all the same hurtful things that others in our lives have done. While we can still honor our experiences underneath our fears, those fears are not needed in T. Those fears are not going to be realized, and we don't need them. It might be scary to ignore the fears and wander into T "unprotected", but the reality is that it's worth it.

IMO.

Anne
Thanks for this!
granite1, pbutton