I started with this new DBT therapist about 6 weeks ago and have tried very, very hard to make it work. I have been open and honest and forthcoming. He allowed me to continue to work with my regular T and my regular T has been trying to help me stay open and keep trying and coaching me. It's just not working. He seems defensive, doesn't know what to do with me, shames me, and I'm afraid of him, and he creeps me out. I've dissociated and cried and shook and tried and tried to be patient and calm and forthright, and I just can't do it anymore. My skin just crawls going into his office, and I finally told T how bad it really was and have cried for two days.

I know 6 weeks may not seem like a long time to give a new T, but this skin crawling, freaked out reaction is just too strong to ignore for me. I've tried figuring out if there's some specific transference reaction going on but I just can't think of anyone he really reminds me of...it's just a gut reaction.

I feel like such a failure. I know T really wanted me to be able to make it work. He so wants me to be able to make connections with others, but at least does see WHY I'm so creeped out and why it's not working out and said I did try really hard. He mentors T's and when I relayed our discussions he could explain the DBT T's reactions, but they weren't appropriate and DEFINITELY not the responses that I needed. But it's not enough. I just can't get past that I couldn't work it out. I just feel like a freak. And I don't want to stop the DBT group which this guy leads. So I'm in a tight spot. I'm very depressed and don't know what to do...








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