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Old Nov 05, 2011, 04:06 PM
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ChristineEsq ChristineEsq is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 38
Hey Wysteria,

I just wanted to say that you are not alone in having your peace of mind thwarted by this type of persistent ambivalence. Even after a year since leaving therapy, I still cannot seem to reconcile my intuitive/intellectual reasoning about it/her with my emotional one. I can talk a blue streak about how inept and careless my T was, but emotionally, I turn it back on myself every time

As a borderline, I'm sure you're used to having your intuition and perceptive abilities questioned, but honestly, it's not for nothing that borderlines are considered to be the most highly perceptive sentient beings known to psychologists. I'd also suggest picking up a copy of "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker to help allay some of your self-doubt (if you need it). This book essentially teaches you that the easiest way to find yourself in a dangerous, if not life-threatening, situation is to dismiss/excuse away your gut instincts - they are your inborn self-defense mechanism. Ignoring them with a therapist is no wiser (or more noble) than ignoring them with a creepy stranger who offers you a lift in a bad part of town (for example).

De Becker (a former FBI profiler) emphasizes that you should pay particular attention to instinctual fear when it occurs in an ostensibly innocuous situation or with a seemingly harmless person. I think it's great that you listened to your intuition about this therapist and am glad that someone you trust validated it.

Gut instincts are very different from cognitive distortions, incidentally, yet there are still those who (inexplicably) continue to use and discuss them interchangeably. I think you should give yourself credit for appreciating the difference and, quite possibly, mitigating whatever damage your DBT therapist might've caused you.

The reason I feel so strongly about all of this, by the bye, is because I learned about "the gift of fear" two years before I was abducted with a family member and it absolutely saved our lives.
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"It is not true that life is one damn thing after another. It's the same damn thing over and over again." - Edna St. Vincent Millay

http://dysfunctionalpsychotherapy.com
Thanks for this!
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