Hello joe1963, welcome to PC! It sounds like you are indeed going through a tough depression right now. Are you currently receiving professional help from a psychiatrist, psychologist, and/or therapist? With depression, many people find that they cannot go through it alone. I know that for myself personally, my psychiatrist and therapist are crucial to achieving balance in my life.

This is a very cool site with many supportive people willing to listen. I hope you benefit from your time spent here.