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PurpleFlyingMonkeys · Nov 05, 2011 at 09:57 PM

I'm so sorry for all of this beast. I admire you for the strength and courage you have in helping faded. I wish I had advice to give but Im the host and I'm the one who goes into hiding

i'm the weak one here who needs others to take my place when I shut down. The moment the words go through my mind "this is too much, I can't handle any more" someone comes out. Less now that I'm more able to control it but the shut down is their sign that it's time to come out and I thank them so much every time they do.

The only advice I could give would be advice from a hosts perspective... From my own really since no two situations are the same. Something I want from those within... Even if I fight it... I want them to come forward and I want them to stand up when I want to back down. But I know that they are here to help, he may not be so knowledgable on the DID I don't know. I would say to just keep giving him support, keep encouraging him to step forward and stop this chaos that surrounds him. Encourage him to gain the strength and courage that you have and if he doesn't have a way to find it, offer to stand in for him. Eventually he should budge. Things work much easier if there are no arguments and no ultimatums and no degrading. Speaking honest deep felt words works the best in getting the message across.

For some of us (speaking mostly on my own behalf) it's a lot more difficult than most realize to stand up for ourselves. Maybe it's a lack of self worth, maybe it's a fear of what will happen or maybe we are just weak but it is difficult. The more we are pushed, if it is in a harrassing or intense way, the more we can back off. This is my situation though and more than likely does not relate in this situation. Just wanted to give you another possibility to look at.

I really admire you for all that you do for your host. You are on the right path and hopefully one of these days soon he will jump on the waggon with you. The best of luck and take care!