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Rhapsody said:
Dear Rainbow,

From what I read in your post it sounds as though your mother had her own unresolved issues and that she was taking them out on you - the physical abuse you suffered (may God heal every one of your wounds) could have been from the anger that your mother held in her own soul from her past or from her husband / male friends.... she saw all FEMALES as sluts for they stole her man - or at least in her mind they did, where if the TRUTH were to be told it was the male that did the running around and a female just happen to be who he ran with.

Does any of that sound true to your situation? - or am I am barking up the wrong tree here?

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

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well.
yes, in a way it does.

My dad was abusive to her as well. And my mother also had a hole in her inner ear leading to the lining of her brain or something from the time she was born until she was 28 when they found it - it caused menengitis eight times within that time frame so I think there is definetly issues.

She gets extremely frustrated easily and has tried to kill herself a couple of times as well.

She also either thinks she can do no wrong or things that nothing she does is any good.

I have pulled away from her so much because she just is not good for me. The last time I visited her she got upset and ran out on the road and tried to bash her head in with a rock. Thats Self Harm, I know it is, not to mention a suicide attempt.

We took her to the community hospital for stitches and they had the nerve to tell me (because of the relationship we had when I was a child) That if I didn't incite her she wouldn't have done it to herself. I made the suggestion that they keep her in and try to get her help and they acted like I was off my rocker, saying that maybe I should just treat her better.

Let me also tell you that this whole situation (I am 23 and have lived on my own since 16, this was on a once a year visit) stemmed over picking up some stuff in the living room that I had left there the previous night. I was eating breakfast when she started in on wanting it done NOW as she usually does.

When I was younger i used to yell and scream and lash back out at her. Now and for some time I just keep my voice nice and even and steady, and speak as calmly as possible, and try to stay even no matter how angry she gets.

It makes me very sad, aside from the anger that I feel I also feel a great deal of sadness because I KNOW that she could be helped if she would just listen to us (our whole family has made the suggestion) and at least TRY seeing someone who can help her learn to deal with all of this.

This on top of the icky feeling I have in my belly that she just didnt respect me and my body. Im not sure if there was ever a sexual note to it in the sense that she did it for perverse pleasure. But I know that there is something very wrong with what she did.