I am emptier than empty.
I am sadder than sad.

I just have to leave for a little while. I think. I don't know what to do. I hurt so much and don't know why. I know why, I think, but nothing makes sense anymore. Life doesn't make sense.

You have all been such a great support and the first place I have felt really understood but, I don't know, something isn't right. I can't explain it. There is total panic, sever anxiety, I don't want to leave but don't know what else to do. I feel like I'm abandoning my family. Things just aren't good. I need T.