I had a 'man in memory' too, but I have since met some one new who has all the qualities and specialness that everyone deserves. I cannot believe that, at nearly 40! I have found some one who makes my life awesome and I appreciate every little or big thing M does for me. You'll get there one day mate, sometimes you dont even realise its happened until you find yourself smiling like a complete loon at something that the special person in your life does...