This may be premature (pun not intended but ) but since my session I feel like something shifted inside of me! I am still skeptical of EMDR but that's what we did so maybe that helped. I wrote the poem about wanting Mommy and I feel relieved, not sad. Maybe sadness will be part of it and it should be, but right now I feel like I understand why I attach to Ts! I think being a preemie and being in the incubator was what started my problems. I feel like the nurses didn't hold me enough. Maybe back then they didn't think it was so important. Maybe my mother couldn't get to the hospital often enough. It seems to fit and I feel better, which seems weird.

I am also separating my T from my mother and I don't think I've done that before. My T told me again that she is my guide and I didn't get upset about it because she said we have a relationship too. I feel like I'm getting the best of both worlds.

I'm waiting to see if this new feeling lasts. I don't trust that it happened just from the EMDR and my poem. I don't trust this feeling good!