Quote:
Originally Posted by lyrical_chula
i havent written on here in a very long time but i am kinda struggling with something. when i was a child i was raped by my brother which then turned into an incest relationship. so from age 7-13 my brother and i had relations. after evrything was put out in the open he and i were split up which worked just fine because he was going to cllege (he is 5 years older) we dont live with each other but it seems like recently we have been seeing a lot of each other. it seems like since, i have been having a lot of dreams and fashbacks about those times. but i am worried because i am scared of myself. this past week i have been babysitting my coousins and i love them so much. wht scares me is sometimes i will look at them and have thoughts of touching them. dee inside i would never do such a thing because i know what it feels like but i am so scared of myself because i feel like a monster for thinking those things. i just dont know what to do  |
only your treatment providers can say whether you are a danger to your self or others because of what you went through. what I can say is that its very common for those that have been sexually abused to act out what has happened to them with other people. part of having PTSD. its also common for "some" not all, victims becoming abusers them selves.
my suggestion contact your treatment providers aka your family doctor, your therapist a psychiatrist, psychologist. they can help you through the trauma that you went through as a child and help you so that you can heal from this and be safe with yourself and others.