Dear ACQPL,

I suffered from guilt issues for over a decade. I saw a few therapists and they all said I did not need to feel that way. My friends and family said the same thing. But that did not make me feel any better. In fact, their lack of understanding of what an irrational mire guilt could be made me feel worse. What did help was when I finally dissected every situation that made me feel guilty, and every thing related to it. I peeled back the situations like the layers of an onion until I understood why I felt the way I did. I found everything was interrelated and it was only then that I was finally able to be compassionate towards myself. I'm not sure if that will work for you but I hope it does.

I know it is also easier said than done. I never thought I would ever be able to climb out of the pit of despair that consumed me 24/7, but I have. I still relapse once in a while but at least I have more tools now to deal with things.

I know I said therapy did not work for me but I must clarify that it might have if I had voiced to my therapists what I needed from them. I now know I should have guided them just as much as I needed them to guide me. I think if you find a good therapist and talk about what happened with your sister, and with your friend, your pain might ease.

Well, I really wish you all the best on this very important journey. May you find peace and happiness eventually--Terry