I lived with those feelings of wanting to kill humantity, it took about 4yrs of therapy before It becmae managable. How long did I "wallow"? Oh that was a learnt behavouir and like all the other issues took a good 4 to 5 yrs also. I could twll you to "think" good thoughts, fake it till you make it crappy stuff lol, but my feelings demanded to be treated seriously and none of that numbing stuff worked. There does come a point where you have to become responsible for yourself and rmember we all want to be treated as we would like to be treated ourselfs and we do make choices on how we react to our feelings whether we wish to admit to that or not.