I received an email today and I applied to work at MacDonald's but I wasn't successful. I have applied to many jobs but I still haven't been called or anything. Alright.... This time I will just stop searching for a job. I should just study and wait until I am a little older. Fk this, I will just stop looking for a job now. I won't ever get a job. On the positive, I have been sent an email to be a expert English reviewer. I sent them an email and I hope I am successful. I like teaching and helping people with English. Maybe I should become a English teacher. But I guess I fail at life and I am a failer therefore I must do what is right and..... Everyone has a right and everyone else has a job but me..... I don't. I lose, I fail. Everyone hates me. I don't deserve to be on this earth. No one appreciates. No one wants me. I feel like I should do something stupid but I can't.. Something inside of me stops me. If I did it, I would fear I might go to he**. I would cause my family, friends and my boyfriend a lot of pain. I should just talk to a manager and get on my knees and beg them for a job. I'm fed up of feeling like this. I cry over a stupid job. I wasn't meant to have a job. Maybe I should have s** for money. I am a piece of meat anyway. I'm sorry Heavenly Father for being a bad person and letting you down. I am a disgrace. I am a failer. I never succeed. I hate this life! Thanks a lot, managers. You make me feel like this. I hope you're happy. I hope everyone is happy when I am sad. I am FED UP with this job search!!! FINE, I understand, I will never get a job. End of. My life is a mistake. I wasn't meant to be here. I want to just drink and drink until I feel numb.