I know there is another thread about the holidays, but I feel really out of place, because most people are saying how they are dreading the holidays BECAUSE of their families.

I am dreading the holidays because I miss my family. My mom and dad are both dead, as are the grandparents I knew.

We used to all get together for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Now, I have nobody - well, thats not exactly true. I have a sister who I still talk to, a brother who is uninvolved in our lives, and a brother and stepdad who are a different story (my brother is 13, I would LOVE to see more of him. My step-dad has gotten really weird since my mom died 3 years ago, so who knows what he'll be up to)

Anyway, long story short is that I don't even know if I will be seeing any of my family for the holidays. This is already of tough time of year with all the losses and memories, and I don't know how to get through it again.

Last year, I ended up in the psych ward after almost killing myself. I want(need) this year to be better.

What do I do? I know I could start new traditions, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept that the old ones are gone, completely gone