If someone else is controlling you, that's all the more reason not to have a knife in your pocket. What if whoever is controlling you causes you to injure someone else? Until you're absolutely sure that all the thoughts in your head are your own and that no one else is controlling you, you need to leave the knife at home.

The safety you feel from having the knife is false. The knife itself is a reminder of your fear and your sense of danger. It's like a negative talisman you carry around, constantly feeding the fear. When you put it in your pocket, when you take it out, when you touch it, when you think about it, it reminds you of your fears. It cannot solve any of your problems, but it can create a lot of problems and pain. Please leave it at home. Learn to manage the fear without the knife.