you're not pathetic or a mental mess. being bipolar is not your choice, its something you have to struggle with. i have social anxiety and depression which makes it really hard to get close to people, and i have never had a girlfriend because of this. you dont want to be with a guy who is not in touch with his emotions. i dont know you, but im sure you are an awesome person. there is deffinetly someone out there for you who understands you. btw you're not relatively okay, you're awesome!!!