Children in the womb know their mothers during the last trimester. They hear her voice and her heartbeat. Studies have been done where infants can identify the smell of their mothers. It is theorized that adopted children go through a mourning which is never really completed because infants can't understand that they have lost something very valuable.

Maybe you mourned the loss of your mother after birth? How long were you separated from her?

Good work Rainbow!! Working on the real issue is going to get you somewhere!