I spoke with T. He said I have a problem with All-or-Nothing thinking. Because I was being triggered and causing total confusion and panic, I thought it would be best to leave PC for awhile. It has been so totally confusing and horrible anxiety to the point of not being able to function these last few days. I can't see that it's mostly safe, when I'm triggered, nothing is safe - it's all bad. So, I need to learn how to find the gray area within things. So, I need to try and see the whole picture.

I don't want to leave here, even for a little while because you have all been so supportive and wonderful and caring. But, it's been so bad for me and I've had such bad thoughts. I think I was trying to move to fast and go into another forum that I wasn't ready for. I don't want to take away the littles means of expression. They were really starting to get comfortable.

I am going to try and ask that people be more judicial with the trigger icon - please. Everyone has been pretty good and I don't mean for everyone to change things for me - I'm nobody. But all of you are somebody and have been so caring - I'm not used to that. My childhood was really, really bad and things in my adulthood - well, just a continuation because I didn't know any different.

Please understand. I don't know how else to say this and I am really trying. I hope I have not offended anybody, I wasn't trying to. I'm just a dummy and I don't know, I just don't know. I just know that I don't want to leave but don't know how else to take care of myself. Good God, I need a pill.



Songbird and Daisy