That's the thing...I do talk to him calmly about it, he calls that *****ing, or nagging. He has a big problem. Anytime anyone asks him to do anything, he thinks they are demanding it of him. I think that has to do with his time in the army. (having to obey orders all the time). He has never seen war or anything. Just had one year overseas in Korea. The only thing he got out of that was getting the habit of drinking all the time with his buddies. He doesn't drink that often, but when he does, he has to drink until he is completely drunk. And when he's drunk he has terrible mood swings (if he drinks too much) one minute he will be all lovey dovey and singing love songs to me, and the next minute calling me terrible names and saying he only married me because he had to etc etc....we've made appts for couples counselling , but have had to reschedule so many times because of his work schedule. He says he will go, but there is always an excuse not to. when I talk to him about him sleeping all the time i say it as nicely as I can example: " It would be so nice, if you could get up earlier so we could spend some time together as a family, the kids love spending time with you " but it's like in his head, I'm nagging at him. one day I very nicely asked "when you get a chance could you please get some quarters, so we could do laundry", and he said to me "you don't have to ask me like that" how else am I supposed to ask....