he wont quit tho. he'll slow down now cuz my mom got onto him this morning about it, but it'll eventually come back to how it is now, almost every weekend and sometimes in the week.

anyways that was just a rant and i was thinking about it from a defensive point of veiw. even i know that my cutting was wrong and that i needed to stop. i just wish my dad would do the same with his drinking. my therapist and the doctor who percribed my medicine think that my depression came on from a chemical thing, cuz i never had an answer as to why i was depressed, it was just there. it was normal for me. but since i started my medicine a few weeks ago, apparently ive acted differently. ive been more "open" and "confident." those were the words they used. i know that i havent felt like crap for those weeks, which is the longest ever of my good times.

i did steal my boyfriends jacket the other day which made my day it smells good, like a sweet smell. not like candy, but still a sweet guy smell. i cant explain it other than addicting.