Hi everyone. I've never posted here before but I need advice. I don't have anyone I can let everything out to. I feel like if I don't tell someone I might explode.

I really just needed somewhere to get this all out. I have no one to talk to and it's building up inside and all I want to do is let it all out and cry. So here it goes, I'm sorry if it's long.

My husband and I just got married and moved in together in May. My husband and I sometimes get into to stupid fights but a couple months ago they recently started turning into something else. I got into an argument with my husband and then felt silly and went into his office room to make ammends. I went in and put my arms around him to hug him and he pushed me and I fell and hit my head on the wall. I was shocked and started to cry, not because of physical pain but because my feelings were hurt. He started to get even more angry that I was crying and bothering him because he said he was busy. He told me to leave and I told him we needed to talk about it. So since I wouldn't leave he came over and grabbed my arms and dragged me out of the room and slapped me in my face. I had rugburn on my back and after the fight showed him and he told me I did that to myself.

This isn't the first time he's gotten physical with me before it had been little things like grabbing my arm and squeezing when he gets angry with me in public. So a couple more times it got worse, he has slapped me on the head and back and grabbed me by my shirt and shook me. This last and worst time was Friday. I had caught him messaging other women and the things said were innappropriate. I was so angry and I confronted him about it and he told me his relationship with other women is none of my business and that he can do whatever he wants. I asked him how he would feel if I did and said the same and he told me he would spit in my face. I told him it is my business because he is my husband and this is not okay with me, especially because his profile does not say he is married(this is on facebook). I felt betrayed and I told him so. He told me not to talk to him like that and he grabbed my arm and twisted it behind my back and told me to walk to the bedroom. He then threw me on the bed and started slapping me on the legs and when I started to cry and he scream he put his hand over my nose and mouth so I couldn't breath or scream. He told me to stay on the bed and went to the other room. Well after a few minutes I walked out and he got angry that I didn't listen and grabbed my arm and twisted again. I tried to get out his grip but he grabbed tighter and laughed at me struggling and said he would break my arm. So the rest of the day I sat in the bed and just cried not knowing what to do. We haven't been talking these past couple days but when he does it's only a couple of words. He has never apologized to me but I do apologize to him to resolve it.

I'm not perfect and I don't pretend to be but I have never tried to physically hurt my husband. I just feel like it's my fault he hurts me because I start the argument or I try to talk to him when he tells me to leave him alone.

I just need advice.