I'm wondering if anyone has some advice.
Here is the situation that I am in:
My OCD has taken over my life. I spend about 7 hours a day completing routines. Basically I get up, have 3 hours of routines for the morning, go to work, then have 4 hours of routines in the eveings. After doing this for years, I finally decided that I have to do something to change. I decided on a day to break my routine for the eveings. I ended up going to a friends house with a couple other girls. (None of them knew that this was going to be a challenge for me.) Knowing that I wasn't going to be able to fulfill my routines, I stressed about it for a week ahead of time. The night of, I was super anxious, and really didn't enjoy it much. The hardest part was after, when I was so nervous that I couldn't eat or sleep for 2 days.
I live in Korea, and an English speaking therapist isn't available. I have a doctor for my medications, but he doesn't speak English well enough to really know what is going on. Basically, he has just been there to keep giving the same perscription that I had when I got to Korea years ago. At first, he just told me to "change my personality." When I tried to tell him about the night that I finally did something different, and the effect it had on me, he told me "I think you should do your routine."
The truth is that I really want to change. I don't want to keep doing the same thing that I have done for so long. I have lived in this country for 3 years and don't have any friends here. I just don't know how to go about changing. My mom wants me to move back to the States so I can get some more serious treatment, but I can't just leave my job here.
How do I go about doing this myself? I don't even know what my first step should be. Can anyone give me some ideas? I am desperate to make a change.