Hello,

My past history: child abuse, psychological and emotional, my sisters were very very mean, and SA of 7 years from my brother in law.

Present: my father is very ill, he wont live many days.

In this situation, I have come to my parents house where my family has come together and I just don't know how to cope with this all.

On one side i have "losing my dad" and on the other i have my sisters who are still mean to me which constantly takes me to the past and i can't get out of it.

My eldest sister wants me to give her this "title" that in my culture you call someone older. I don't want to call her with this title anymore, i don't feel like it, she's so mean to me, belittles me constantly.. and shouts if i just call her by her name.. why do i have to do what she wants me to do? if i ever go against her will, she says i have bad behavior. i'm so sick of it.

if i say why doesnt the other sister call you this, she starts shouting.. and basically whenever I'm in my family, my sisters and everyone, i'm given no respect at all.

If i'm speaking to the doctor, I'm interrupted by them and told to shut up..

How do i cope with this all? I feel so stuck, iw ant to spend time with my father who i dont know how long will live, and on the other side I have this stress to deal with the dysfunctionalities of my family...

I probably played the scapegoat and lost child one and off throughout my childhood.
I'm so mentally exhausted I can't tell you... today they even said, oh she (me) can't do much regarding xyz cos no one will take her seriously. I'm almost 30 years old. I feel so alone. I'm afraid of intimacy. My relationships suck.