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If you are having those kind of thoughts, bringing it up with your t is the best bet. Tell her your concerns about going to the hospital but in reality, even if you don't want to go, if you are suicidal the hospital may be the only place that can help you. Please do not take this lightly, it's a fast path to destruction.
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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