Quote:
Originally Posted by Elana05
(((Distressed2010)))
I hear you... I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling so sad, hurt, angry.
How awful it sounds with everyone yelling or making comments, putting you down. Please try to keep in mind that you don't deserve this. You are a strong person who is owed respect, indeed the same respect each person owes each other person.
But if they don't get this, they just don't get it and it will always be that way. No arguing will convince them, so I would say just shrug or nod, do what they want.
I know you are in a very conservative environment. But is there ANY way you could move out? Is there any way to find a church or organization where you can take a room - or try to raise money to plan to move out at a given time? It sounds like they will drive you crazy! You are old enough now to move on. I know it's hard. Can you sit down and make some plans (on paper or in your mind) about how you can move out? Take care of yourself. Be gentle with you. Even when the others are being mean, just roll your eyes to yourself and ignore them. If your sister "NEEDS" you to call her by that name, maybe you should just do it - you don't have to mean it in your heart... You know, do whatever you can to keep the peace. Just try to figure out how to free yourself!
(Those are my thoughts...) I am sending many supportive thoughts your way.
Hugs.
Elana
|
Hi Elana,
Thanks for responding
. I don't live with my parents anymore, I moved to another city earlier this year , months back but Im' back here because my father is critically ill and won't survive much longer..
I don't understand. Did you mean to say "do what they want", or was that a typo?
I normally do follow their plans like sometimes from the hospital we go to my sisters house, and I do go.. but they find any and every reason to shout at me for the smallest things, my anxiety level and shouting and anger level is so high when I'm around my family, its never there around other people.
Also, I just can't take calling her by that title because I feel then rules should be for everyone and my other sister should also use that title. And this is not common in all families of this culture.. its just that I feel she wants me to cater to her all the time, and I don't like doing it anymore.
I feel like I'm doing injustice to myself by giving her the title I never wanted to give since childhood, she had forced me to give it by constantly creating drama whenever i never used the title...