it's not selfish to consider your depression. it's not selfish to feel that way, and be upset that he has cancer for both yourself and for him.

I think you should be there for your granddad as much as you CAN but remember you can't be there for him if you are too depressed to... well be there. You have to find amix of how to take care of yourself AND be there in some way for him.

What I'd ask you now is if you're still seeing therapist, and have you rescheduled those appointments? Right now I think you need to really focus getting back ontop of schoolwork and getting better from depression. You have to work REALLY REALLY hard so that you can be there for him, and for yourself too.

I think you need to reach out to people at this point. But for what it's worth I dont' think your being selfish.

I hope this makes sense.