Hey guys I've been looking for a forum like this for a while. To pretty much explain my situation in a nut shell will be hard but here goes:

Okay about 8 weeks ago my girlfriend left to do her last year at University we have been together for 2 years so we have done this before, ever since that I've been to the doctors 2-3 times and been put on anti anxiety meds 'Diazipam'? Only 2mg to be taken 3 times a day, I was also put on 80mg of beta blockers? I stoped taking them within 4 days as they pretty much knocked me out but stayed on the diazipam, I was on and off the meds but took them when was required, however I don't want anymore and I refuse to take anti depressents I think they are handed out quite easy.

Anyway I had a lot to sort out with my girlfriend and had to own up to some things that I'd done wrong but that's all sorted now, however it seems that I just want to own up to things all the time, and want to rid all debts I have and also I'd feel guilty for the most stupid things. Over the past 8 weeks I've gone on such a roller coaster of a ride with emotions, I've gone from rock bottom to feeling alright and trying to be myself so to speak. However over the past 2 weeks I've been doing okay and awaiting to see my girlfriend as I've not seen her in a long time.

Now the job situation is difficult I have a foundation degree in coaching and sports development but work as a care assistant... I pretty much hate the job I have but I get paid and most people my age don't have a job, I have to pay back my student overdraft, have rent to pay to parents and car insurance to pay so working is something I have to do. The job is very challanging and makes me feel depressed to be honest.

I've started taking herbal meds as I'm fine with taking them, I'm on what's known as St Johns Wart I started taking this last week and try my best to get 3 a day sometimes I forget , but I think these take 3-4 weeks to even kick in.

To basicly sum up how I feel; I always end up worrying about anything and everything, feel guilty, not wanting to eat is becoming a real issue as it gives me stoumch cramps, hate going to work and feel depressed, I really don't feel like myself I don't want to play my xbox or get a fast car anymore I just don't know ... I don't know how to deal with all these issues I'm scared that I will push my girlfriend away, she means the world to me and I love her so much we have a strong relastionship but these issues can tear anyone apart. If anyone can make sense of what I'm saying I really would like some advice.

Many Thanks
Daniel