When a person fears intimacy they also want it too because it is normal to want intimacy with others. People fear intimacy because they have been hurt in the past and protect themselves by keeping people at a distance.

So what I am saying is that you are alone because any attempt that you have made to get closer to others was made only towards people who aren't available. If you see that someone is capable of getting close to you, you run for the hills. If another person isn't capable of getting close to others you feel safer so you make attempts to get close but of course it won't work because that person will not allow you to get close and then you are hurt.

I did this exact same thing!