thanks cher. i really appeciate your support and the advice you had. Unfortunately I SI in all sorts of diff ways, and the other night was with 'things' around the home. I do not go out and buy razor blades, for instance, and i cannot be bothered trying to break a razor into pieces to get to the blade inside- unless i am totally desperate! I have found so many other ways it is NOT good . But I will keep re-reading your post and try to heed the advice of you and your therapist as much as i can. Thanks again, Irish