I have been in the saddest mood I have been in for a long time. I have a sadness that makes my heart hurt. My body language is shrunken in, I think to try and make myself invisible, I don't know. I've made all conversations short and sweet today. I don't know what's wrong. I want someone to help but I want to do it on my own. I want to cry uncontrollably but I want to keep it together. I'm just so confused and sad. Just such a bad day. I don't want to kill myself, I just want to disappear. That wouldn't be so bad would it?