Burning Aroma, I don't know what grade you are in school but I must say that you are very intelligent as evidenced by your writing and seem to be in a place many of us have been-at the stage in school when everyone is trying to "find themselves". I went through this like others but I found solace by accident when I learned the importance of humor in life. Trust me when I say humor can be a life vest in times one feels as though they are in over their heads in life. You are obviously smart and disciplined academically which will serve you well in daily life. I need you to try one thing for me-put your blinders on. I see that you are always looking at the sucess of others and this will only make you feel worse. I had classmates make awesome grades without any preparation so they said. I found out later that my classmate only said this to fake confidence in herself thereby causing others to want to be her. One of the best lessons I learned in life was taught to me by a nurse I admired and wanted to be. She told me that her secret to developing confidence was to "fake it til you make it" which turned out to be easier than I ever imagined. If you fake it til you make it you will notice others will begin to see you in a confident manner and you will notice a difference in the way they interact with you.