Agma,

You sound ashamed..don't be ashamed..you are hurting..can you go to your husband and talk to him about how you are feeling and include him and see if he can help in any way. It sort of sounded like you shut him down last night. I have no idea what happened, but he actually might be a great source of relief if you can draw him in and let him surround you with his love for you. I'll bet he is just as scared as you right now. It's just a thought...you can throw it away..I hope you will also get excited for your interview this Thursday(?). I know you are in a sort of toxic environment right now and a change might be just the thing to shake things up and create a change for you. I sure hope so. I hope also that your T will have an opening real soon.

Take care of you..ride those waves and keep your chin up.

Hugs,

Wysteria Blue