Thank you so much. This is already one of those days that i really wish I could stay in bed for along long time. I woke up with those feelings that I'm inadequate and thats the real reason my beau is gone for so long, and also the reason why I cannot go as well. I'm destined to just be good enough to dogsit and never be the one to go on vacation.

Also, i suppose I didn't eat enough last night because I woke this morning absolutely ravenous, wanting to devour everything in sight. I had an apple driving in to work this morning. once I finally got here I ate a granola bar and half a roll...I felt out of control. I felt like I couldn't stop. It was scary. I don't want to sabotage myself. I am going on 6 weeks of absolute freedom from this damn disorder. I haven't binged purged restricted OR over exercised (at least not intentionally).

I want to keep a steady pace and not give up. I want to be a winner. I want to be beautiful. I feel ugly.

Bleh.