My husband talked about his ex for 4 years straight and he just now seems to be gradually getting away from talking about her. I think he just realized I was tired of hearing it. He also constantly talked about his son that he raised until he was 6 and found out he wasn't his. He even would compare that child (who he no longer has contact with) to the child we had together. That really upset me but it seems to have gradually went away also.

I believe that there was unfinished emotions in both yours and my situations but in your situation he seems to have come to the conclusion that he wants to be with you and that he is willing to get over his past. I would hang in there as long as he does not constantly bring her up anymore. If he keeps bringing her up, he apparently has not gotten over her and is not ready for a relationship with you. I wish I would have seen this flag (among many) at the beginning of my marriage.