Many years ago I had a pdoc tell me it was a good thing that I could not remember, sort of a self protection thing. Now that I am older things are coming to surface.
I believe our childhood holds keys as too the whys and whats of being an adult. Sounds like your family may have pushed you into doing something you may not have wanted to as a child and now that your older anything that has too do with that particular experience, ex....being the center of attention or being in front of a large group of people may have negative feeling.
The best thing you can do now as an adult is take care and nurture yourself. Not sure if my reply made much sense but I hope you are doing well.
Cher