...been leaning on someone here for a while now. Feel guilty for it. It's too much for either of us. They want me to start posting again.

I'm crying all the time - just so sad. In my sleep weeping again. Wake up all the time. So tired and down. No light or joy in me and I'm angry and seem to hate even the ones I love. wtf there's no getting better is there. Each month this hole only gets deeper and darker; been over a year now feeling so down and recently exponentially worse daily. Very real, very bad thoughts.

Feels like ppl are criticizing me all the time, even when they're not saying any thing. Alone. worthless