First of, BREATH. It's one thing that can help. I've been where you are, and I can't do the suicide thing either. No matter how much I want to. What gets me through this hard time, is the simple fact that I know i can't do it. I know how much it would hurt others. And that's my motivation to not think about it. Yes it's hard, and thinking straight doesn't happen. But you can and will get through this.

I doubt that your parents hate you, They just hate what you are doing, and they just don't understand what you are doing. If you need to point them into the direction of research about depression and self-harm. It's not selfish to ask for help when your family is dealing with a health scare. Just tell them you want help, but you need them to learn about what is going on.

My parents still don't quite understand it, and so I go to other people for help. I come here!!!!! Support systems can help.

As far as the hurting yourself to punish yourself, that's me too. But I have been through this all for 6 years now, and I'm doing all that I can to help others, and try and get my mind of my issues/problems.

You are not a screw up. These things happen, and it's hard to understand what is going on but it's not impossible.

If you need to talk about anything, (and I mean anything) I'll be there for you, to help you get through this. It can be done. I've done it several dozen times. and I'm still here.
Again If you need anything, pm me or catch me on chat.

You can do this, you will make it through it. Help will always be given, from me if you need it. I'll be there for you.