I can understand and relate because I am a self harmer. Maybe you told your doctor it was an accident because you didn't feel comfortable discussing it. It's not good as we all know. Self harming is addicting and can become a bad habit when dealing with negative emotions. You should distract yourself in a healthy way. At the top of this forum, there is “what to do instead of hurting yourself” thread. You could look at it and use the techniques which are on there. Some of them are good to do when you have a urge to hurt yourself. Also, what are the triggers? What's making you feel like this? You could write down your feelings or do something which might cheer you up, such as watching a funny film or having a nice chat with your friend. I hope this helps.