Welcome to PC color splash, yes I agree it is a beast of a disorder. I am sorry that you have been struggling with it, I can totally relate to the desire for a vacation from it.
I have said that many times, but unless one understands PTSD they don't get what that really means.

I am truely struggling myself, I hope you have a good therapist, I am not sure the one I have now is going to last, he has depression himself and sometimes he looks very tired.
I wonder if I am too much for him, he looks tired before we even start.

Open Eyes