For anyone with a boyfriend or husband with SZ this may be helpful to you if you havn`t already experienced this. So for a year and a half I`ve been frustrated with my bf because he has been what I perceived to be distant, I`ve been venting on here and tearing my proverbial hair out trying to figure out what happened and why did he change. Well its been a series of things that I believe went into his "changing." You know how a person with SZ can be very very sensitive to all kinds of stimulus going on around them? Well, his stimulus includes moving far away to be closer to family, getting a job where he has increasing responsibility, a sometimes volatile boss, seeing me become more social with other people, going to school, weening off of and completing his meds as his doc prescribed, becoming more social himself, which are all good healthy things but as a result we bearly get time to talk on the phone or video chat, my own health has been in the tank since I came home from college in NYC so I had been in a terrible mood for a few years so the stuff going on in his life and mine is surely taking a toll. And a few weeks ago we got to talk and I told him I wanted to slowly rebuild our relationship and a bunch of other stuff i was careful to use the words we and us and I rather than you, so he wouldn`t feel attacked. and he actually apoligized for not being there when I needed him and he agreed to work on our relationship, he also admitted he was stressed out from work and was so tired when he gets home and its hard to do much else but rest, he`s never said that b4 either. I honestly was surprized I thought he would get defensive and act like nothing was wrong with how things were going. Which he has always done in the past. But he acknowledged how I felt and it was new and refreshing I thought things would slowly get back on track. But communication dropped off again after being good for so long I got anxiety again and started researching some stress management tools to help my boyfriend and me. I came across www.helpguide.org & I found some additional resources for people with SZ loved ones. The ideas I found in the article explained in simple terms how the stress from all the stimulus and responsibilities can take a toll on the person with Sz. I felt i like I read this too late and he may alreay feel stressed about what I said I've already begun to Work on my own issues that Contribute to the state of the relationship. but sometimes you have to keep the hopes for progress to yourself if it's very complex it's best to only work on oneself and do what you can do and not trouble your partner with extra things. That's what I've learned and also that just the little things we think are no big deal like asking for what we want in the relationship can actually BE detrimental to the relationship. Who knew that wanting to improve a situation can actually be counter productive? Damn, back to the drawing board. So my point is to partners of people with SZ please be patient and just make the relationship improvements on your own self regardless of what your partner is doing, be the best you can be for yourself. And try to limit the stimulus coming from you because you don't want to upset the delicate balance on things. Also, find more time consuming hobbies, increase your social and work on making your own self happy and healthy. Don't take anything your partner says or does as personal and against you. They can't help it, they don't mean to be distant and they still love you. Sometimes its so easy to forget these things but it's important to remember so you can maintain your own emotional health and sanity. I'm having to do these things myself and I have to remind myself to be thankful and appreciate that my bf is still a descent, kind man but probably can't be there for me emotionally like perhaps a non-SZ partner could be. I hope this may help others partners realize somethings. But this is just my experience and everyone is different and has different things going on. Anyway, peace!