Long story short I was at a 12 step meeting and I couldnt believe all the self hatred that was coming out of me. I cant even believe I admitted that out loud. Therapy friday will be quite interesting. Self-hatred, depression, the need to measure myself in terms of achievements or where i am at in life, yuck this is not going to be fun. Just the word self-hatred is hard to swallow...but the real question is why? Oh boy depression hasnt lifted much yet...gee wonder why. DUH!!!!!!